Drag Race Episode 8
Ruba walks up to the screen, red lipstick on, wearing fishnet stockings and lingerie and smoking a cigar. She stubs the cigar on the screen, kissing the ashy stub as she whispers "Welcome to Drag Race. The Winner will recieve a headline spot on the Glee Wiki® Pride Tour, a sickening supply of makeup from the Ana Mijatovic collection, and 100,000 puffle points‏. Gentlemen, Start you engines, and may the best woman, WIN!" The queens walk in after Bayonse's elimiNATEtion. Kalison out of breath from all the slayage of her last lip synch. Cleopatra fans herself "The two bitches are back, the SHADE of it all." Everyone look angrily at the two returnees, Lily Summers and Rhonda. Rhonda is twerking, shaking the workroom, knocking bitches wigs off of their heads. Lily Summers just picks at her teeth "guess whos back, bitch." The queens all look around dramatically. --Confession booth-- Rhonda: "OOH WEE BITCHES AM BACK!" *she twerks her rebel booty and begins to rap* Lily Summers: "Fuck these skinny bitches..." *Cleopatra shakes her head* --Workroom-- Kalison drag Carrie away from the other queens. "We're still blind-siding these dumb wh0res, You thought Kalison was down, but she's not quite out - A xoxo". Carrie flexes her southern muscles. "ummmm okay buuuht idk whut am doing???" Carrie says in her ditzy hick voice. Kalison snatches Carrie's wig "JUST FUCKING BRIBE LADY OKAY?". Carrie gets absoloutely fuming, tamping, raging ect. and she throws her bejazzled bible at Kalison, knocking her dry-ass foundation off her face. "im a drag queen for jesus, dont fuking shout at me." Carrie turns away, leaving Kalison to masterbate to her next kai-kai victim. She walks over to the mirror and wipes the lipstick off using her arsecheeks. "fuck that bayonse hoe." She walks away and all the queens stare at her in shock. "So ummm..." says Lady Ratchet, smacking her lips together "Why the fuck did it have to be you two bitches?" everyone sits in silence as Rhonda opens her gigantic mouth. "Lady you helped me win the challenge shouldn't you be happy?" Lady bursts into tears "You fucking whore! You out shined me and you were elimiNATEd FIRST WEEK." everyone pissed themselves except Barbie and Clara who comfort her. "That's a shame my scottish eyes are tearing up xxx" says Clara. Barbie begins to fart in attempt to clear the room just as they hear a soultry noise from across the workroom "GET OVAH HERE" and they scatter to the screen. Rubaul appears in all her glory, dancing and twerking. She doesn't say a noise and the video ends. "Oh fucking hell." Says barbie, who's a virgin that cant dance. Rubaul walks in, out of drag and dancing like a queen. They all throw their underwear at Rubaul, one pair being thrown by Barbie with a big shitstreak on them. "When the fuck did Susie come back?" can be heard in the distance. Rubaul starts to piss "okay so for today mini-challenge you'll have to dress up like old women and dance." Everyone just looks around, confused and disgruntles as they all go and get their old lady realness on. Carrie walks up to Lady Ratchet "um hey my irish fairy queen xoxo" Lady just looks at Carrie "Fuck off you Southern hick." Carrie rolls her eyes "hm xo Don't make this weird." Lady slams down her MAC makeup "I can't make it weird with your dick flopping about." They pause for a moment as Carrie speaks in her hick accent "wanna buy a boby." "Am listening." said lady ratchet. "Well am rich and i live in the magee mansion with my yacht and my island and my 20 tvs in my bedroom and my --" Lady Ratchet puts her hand over his mouth "Speak, you butch fuck." Carrie explains "I'll giv u money if you bump off Clara." Lady's eyes open in fear "FUCK NO." Carrie sighs "how about cleo?" Lady grabs the money "k bich." The ladies get their old lady realness on and dance like queens. "and the winner of this mini-challenge is... CLEOPATRA DE BOER!" Lady, Carrie and Kalison rolls their eyes and Carrie flops her 2 inch dick about. "Ok for this weeks Maxi-challenge, y'all gotta dance like QUEENS in this weeks challenge; Dancing Queen." The queens sigh and roll their eyes as none of them are proffesional dancers, except Kalison. "Now, I'll be assigning the teams, and both teams will dance live infront of the judges." Team 1: Rhonda Loofa, Kalison Kimanda, Lady Ratchet, Carrie Magee and Cleopatra De Boer Team 2: Lily Summers, Clara Redwing, Barbie Buckfast, Barbara Bobpin and Kitty Titz. "may the baddest bitch - WIN!" They all get into their teams and practice their dances, The three cheating backstabbers being put into a team with Cleo with them. Kalison looks at Lady "operation A is a go." Lady sighs "why cant it be operation VIOLET?" Carrie and Lady shake their heads in shame as Lady Ratchet goes over to Cleopatra. Cleo's head turns like an owl "BITCH DONT FUCKING TRY IT. AINT LEAVING BITCH GET TO THE FUCKING CHOREOGRAPHY." Cleopatra's wig falls off when she shakes her head to hard in dissaproval and Lady gives up but tells carrie that she was a boss ass bitch and Cleopatra will kill herself on the runway. It comes up to the runway and judges Rubaul (boss bitch in the middle) and Hibo (burqa bitch on the left, who just got out of surgery after a random moose ran over her) and guest judge, Bayonse (just elimiNATEd) on the right. The first queen, Kalison struts out, wearing a soultry number and clocks Bayonse on the panel, she stops and screams, throwing off her sequin burqa as Bayonse and Hibo get out their chairs and beat her up. The rest of the queens wearing sweet 16 realness walk out one by one, Bayonse judging them harshly. Barbara Bobpin 1.png|Barbara Bobpin Clara Redwing 1.png|Clara Redwing Lady Ratchet 1.png|Lady Ratchet Lily Summers 1.png|Lily Summers Rhonda Loofa 1.png|Rhonda Loofa Cleopatra De Boer 1.png|Cleopatra De Boer Kalison Kimanda 1.png|Kalison Kimanda Carrie Magee 1.png|Carrie Magee Barbie Buckfast 1.png|Barbie Buckfast Kitty Titz 1.png|Kitty Titz Barbara Bobpin 2.png|Barbara Bobpin Clara Redwing 2.png|Clara Redwing Lady Ratchet 2.png|Lady Ratchet Lily Summers 2.png|Lily Summers Rhonda Loofa 2.png|Rhonda Loofa Cleopatra De Boer 2.png|Cleopatra De Boer Kalison Kimanda 2.png|Kalison Kimanda Carrie Magee 2.png|Carrie Magee Barbie Buckfast 2.png|Barbie Buckfast Kitty Titz 2.png|Kitty Titz After they all show off their sexy looks they do their dance routines, Team Lady slayed the shit out of it, and team Lily failed epically. Rubaul stands up "So, team Lady you were OBVIOUSLY better, but one bitch took the cake" the room drops silent. "KALISON KIMANDA condragulations hunty you win this weeks challenge" Kalison queefs so hard a bit of mould pops out. "Carrie, Cleopatra - You have also done well this week. You're safe. Lady and Rhonda, for being part of the winning team and looking hella fine while doing it, You're also safe." Team Lily look in horror at the other queens. "Clara Redwing, You look like Jackie after a bad hair dye and your shoulders look butch as fuck... but you're safe." Clara throws a hissy and pisses herself. "Barbie, You look elegant, but old. You're safe." Barbie throws a strawberry daiquri at Hibo. "Okay lmao Lily u done shit u look boring as hell ur in the bottom two. You too, Barbara." Barbara cries v hardly. "Kitty ur safe" kitty pulls another cig out her vag and blazes it. The queens watch as Barbara and lily #WERK it out to Dancing Queen by Abba. "Woah, now that's what I call a lip sync for your life. Now, I've made my decision." Barbara cried even more hardly. "Do you have something to say Barbara. Barbara wipes the tears off of her face. "Ruba, Rubaul - I grew up... In a VERY chaotic household... and I had a lot of drama going on, bitch. You woulda thought i was living in a fucking lifetime move, bitch. But I wasn't. It was my life. When I would wear my wigs, and put a lampshade on my mothafucking head and my daddy would say. 'faggot. why you got a lampshade on yo muthafuckin head?!' and i'd say 'daddy, you dont know... DADDY YOU DONT KNOW' and my mom would come in and she would say 'why you got a lampshade on yo head boy' and i'd say 'imma lighten up the world mama, imma lighten up the damn world' and she'd say 'well boy you better cuz we aint got no electricity left. we aint got no light' we were very poor, ru... and i moved to hollywood, and my future was bright. the world was my lampshade and i was gonna put that mothafucka on my head. And now i'm here, and i'm not here for me, and im not here for this fat ass bitch" Barbara points to Lily. "I'm here for those children that are watching that wanna put a lampshade on their heads. I wanna be that lampshade, Ru" barbara begins to break down "and they be confident 'cause when they know, when they put Barbara Bobpin on their mothafuckin head, they can show the world what they made of. and honestly, I'm just so much better than these fat bitches. Look at them, Ru. Look at this one, Ru." Barbara points at Lily. "thats all i gotta say ru, follow me twitter buy my albums... thank you." "that was emotional... ok bye girl lily you're safe." Lily screams with happiness and Barbara is escorted out by the police for knocking out ru with a hi kick. "can i get an amen." "AMEN." Category:Drag Race